End of year wrap up.

So, it’s 2009. Happy new year.  It seems really scary to me that time has flew so fast. Just what seemed like a year ago was actually nine years. Is it really seven years since I first got broadband? I find this incredible, and also slightly scary at the same time.  But, let’s look forward to the future.

I’ve not written in here since I’ve been ill for the last few days;  although my definition of ill is different to everyone elses. As I work for myself, I just have to bear it, and do it. I have had no sick days although there have been times when I have gone back to bed on a morning for a few extra hours.  But this only means that I have to catch up later and therefore stuff like the blog, and also other things like New Year Resolutions are postponed for a while.

The end of 2008 sees me partying out of town. I’ll remember it well, for the last time was the bottom for me. I had broken up out of a long-term relationship and to look back at me then, I was a proper tool. In my mind, I was never going to score with women, and so this proved to be so. In that period of a year or so, things have changed quite a bit for me and mostly for the better. The women part (for so long drove me crazy), made me wonder what all the fuss was about. As you just stand being sociable, opportunity just falls in front of you. I am with someone now, and should she sort herself out, we could have something amazing. I have more prospects on the horizon than ever before and more ambitions. The only trouble is, that they haven’t arrived yet.

Several things nag at me though. Although things have been good, there is always something in me that says ‘They could be better’, ‘look at him’, and so on. You know that you could have worked harder, much harder, and got more results. You have several goals which you set at the start of the year and things get skewed in one direction. So, for some of my desires, I have made no progress at all. Your brain injects a kind of irrational fear into you, which prevents you from moving. All this is bullshit, of course, and it’s a question of motivation.

I am strong believer in feedback loops; positive reinforces positive, and negative reinforces negative. And it’s easy to get sucked in one. I admit that sometimes you get into one without even thinking about it, and BAM! it snowballs into a wasted day, arguments, or general low feeling. Certainly, a some times recently my state has been pretty low and if I trace it back, it probably starts with negative thinking. And, if you’re in an environment where negative thinking is prevalent, then the challenge is to find images that conjure success to you.

Review of my year: 2008

Well, Merry Christmas to you all. Although having said that, this year hasn’t seemed particularly festive to me given that everyone now knows at least a few people who have lost their jobs. I was at a pub party last night who played Christmas songs (at excessively loud volume) but the celebrations seemed, well, a bit hollow for me. Maybe that’s just me getting old.

Anyway, 2008 has been a strange year for me. A real mixed bag. It was the first year I’ve had long(er) hair, after deciding to grow it around the middle of 2007. And, with this, a new girlfriend and far more results with the opposite sex;  getting a full intake in my house of tenants (which took 1.5 years!) and therefore some steady income. More positives were travel – I went abroad 15 times in 2008 with some great experiences.

There were some downsides; namely the erosion of work/business – this will be most likely be my last year in my current state – not by choice;  but more or less by force by a mixture of business/personal reasons. I have been unable to save any sort of cash and really, if things don’t change by two years I could be in a bad situation. On the personal side, there was the return of unreleased rage, and depression, although I would concede that I might be analysing things too much and that people don’t really care. What I’ve noticed is that negative behaviour doesn’t benefit anyone, anywhere, not matter how right it seems at the time.

I suppose things came to a head this year when you consider people that you know being successful – I have too but unfortunately that was 3-4 years ago at peak and I’ve never really pushed on from there. Don’t get me wrong, I’m probably better off than a lot of people that I know. But now the reality is that I do need a change and in previous years I might have denied that.

The problem with me this year is that I can recall every week at the start saying “Right, this week is the week it starts. We’re going to improve from now.” Obviously, this would not happen and I would spend a fair amount of time on things that did not benefit me. The trouble is, when you’ve had the same routine for so long, you get into a rut – which doesn’t seem to bad at the time but on reflection is demoralising.

Throughout my life, the recurring theme has been ‘nearly’:
- I could have been a good footballer, but didn’t put in the work.
- I could have been a good musician, but didn’t put in the work.
- I could have been very fit and muscular, but didn’t put in the work
- I could have been a good businessman, but didn’t put in the work.

You get the picture. This is not to say I have failed – I am still ‘good’ in those senses but not the top. And sure – having studied NLP for a little while, you can reframe this to a positive sense, but in the cold light of day, I think have already been guilty of this for a bit too long.  My standards haven’t been high enough, and I think that things have got this way because I do not have to account to anyone.

Plans are in progress to resurrect this and the first point I’m going to tackle is the use of my time. If I can become king of this, then things are going to be very nice this year. More soon.

Like buses.

Haven’t forgotten about the challenge – despite things not happening for a while. I have given more stuff away than sold – for example, the clothes that I had (probably foolishly) tried to get some cash for. A few clear bags of that has gone down the skip, as well as magazines etc. Boxes for appliances -why do we ever keep these? Even when you move, they are a big hinderance, coming with those massive bits of polystyrene. My loft has never looked tidier, however, the bank balance did not benefit from that.

Few sales to report:
Shawshank Redemption book that I used whilst studying. In effect it is pretty old but in good condition and does get reasonable values – got to £5.91 with post, leaving apprx. £4.99 after postage – it was quite heavy.

British Citizen Test: No, it’s not mine but strangely, I have a copy. Spookily, this also got £5.91
for me as well and sold in the same 24 hours of the day as the previous. Profits are higher – £5.42 as the book is a lot lighter. Thank god for that.

Looking at my running total thus, it looks like this:
Items sold: 11
Profit: £76.52

I have stuff to add (a mobile phone is close to being sold) so should be adding some things soon.

Out shopping observations

Went out to Lakeside shopping centre today to not only scope out some Chrimbo presents but also to see what’s happening with Woolworths.

It was rather sad to see the well established retailer on it’s last knees; with the throng of shoppers akin almost to vultures picking on a carcass. There were no real bargains (most of the good stuff was only slightly discounted bringing it to the price of other stores); only stuff you didn’t need was 50% off. Woolworths were doing a roaring trade; perhaps the business could survive if it held a perpetual closing down sale. Given the infrastructure that it has, and the extreme amount of goodwill, I still believe that it can survive, although this would require an extreme back to basics move. Turning it into a glorified version of a £1 store might be the way forward for it. Woolworths doesn’t have the ability to shift stuff that depreciates quickly, like some electronics, but would be far better off going for high-margin items. Certainly, it has an important presence, especially in the smaller towns.

Although the shopping centre was busy – and how I hate it – you have to think that things will be different for next year. I have no doubt that a good percentage of people there were buoyed by Woolworths and other one off sales. But I see a lot of stores with not particularly strong brands offering goods at high prices. I would not be surprised if some organisations could not survive another poor year. The question burns is who is going to take their place? It will be interesting.